Florida Man back at the helm

"Just Jeepin'" (macintux) 10/25/2020 at 15:40 • Filed to: Found on Reddit, #shiplopnik

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Seems like it’s been a quiet year for Florida Man; the rest of the country has basically upped their game so his usual antics have been drowned out.

Nonetheless, a DUI piloting a  boat while being filmed is worth a mention.

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Better video here:

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ranwhenparked > Just Jeepin' 10/25/2020 at 15:50

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I’m convinced that Florida acts as some sort of filter for the country - all the crazies and nutjobs from the rest of the US all kind of sink to the bottom and collect there, so the rest of society can run smoothly.

Roadkilled > ranwhenparked 10/25/2020 at 16:13

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Where is it that you see things that “run smoothly”?

ttyymmnn > ranwhenparked 10/25/2020 at 16:16

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My brother works for UAL, and he just got transferred to Tampa. Not sure if unemployment would be preferable. 

ranwhenparked > Roadkilled 10/25/2020 at 16:45

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Florida needs to be changed, its overfilling into the rest of the country.

ranwhenparked > Roadkilled 10/25/2020 at 16:45

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Florida needs to be changed, its overfilling into the rest of the country.

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > ranwhenparked 10/25/2020 at 18:08

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If we’re going to build a wall, it needs to separate America’s wang from the rest of the country, and act as a one-way valve. You’re welcome to go, but once you cross over, you’re stuck there. No re-entry under any conditions whatsoever (although I could be convinced to make an exception for the Keys).

ranwhenparked > Dead_Elvis, Inc. 10/25/2020 at 18:35

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Key West is arguably the weirdest part of the state, but its a special brand of distilled/curated weirdness that’s acceptable to be around for an extended period of time. Not the get high on bath salts and drive a Camaro through the front wall of a dialysis center type of weirdness, more just the holding up traffic by riding a unicycle down the middle of the street while playing a ukulele kind, which doesn’t really hurt anything majorly.

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > ranwhenparked 10/25/2020 at 18:56

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That’s a pretty good summation of my experiences in the Keys, even if the details aren’t literally the same. It’s “Florida”, but not Florida (nor Flori- duh ). The Florida Man shit definitely occurs more often up in the shaft.

Just Jeepin' > Dead_Elvis, Inc. 10/25/2020 at 19:01

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shit definitely occurs more often up in the shaft 

That’s a phrase you never want to hear in any other context.

Dead_Elvis, Inc. > Just Jeepin' 10/25/2020 at 19:01

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Really depends on how deep you go before you bottom out.

DipodomysDeserti > ranwhenparked 10/25/2020 at 19:14

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The real reason is that they have very unrestrictive open records laws, so it’s easier to report on crazy shit.

Good for clicks, bad if you get a arrested and are later found innocent.

ranwhenparked > Dead_Elvis, Inc. 10/25/2020 at 23:32

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And it helps that the Keys are one of the most drop-dead gorgeous places in the c ontinental United States. A little piece of the Caribbean that you can just drive to. They’ve gotten touristy, expensive, and heavily developed, but they’re still the same beautiful Keys.